LT Life Without Bugs
by VAPX007
Summary: Daffy Duck is left in charge? Is this a good idea? Definitely not! *INCOMPLETE*
1. Eraser

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything but the plot and the desire to see Daffy Duck NOT be treated like an evil fiend for once in his life. _

**Episode One: Eraser**

* * *

The Martian landscape, Duck Dodgers reviewed the tiny eight ball coming up the ramp. He seemed a little too excited. "This looks like a job for ..." he stopped, eyeing the exploding jet packs warily. "Our usual hero of the picture." He grabbed the jet pack.

"No, not Bugs Bunny, the other one." He grimaced. "Alright, alright, so I'm the anti-hero of the picture!" He yelled at the camera. "Doesn't mean I can't do something right once in a while, does it?"

He opened the locker and considered the array of weapons there. "Huh, the Disintegrating Ray gun or the Disintegrating Ray gun? The twenty thousand space bucks question: Will either of them work and enable me to stop Marvin's scheduled planetary demolition?" He grabbed one of them, and holstered it. "Oh well, it's a living." He grabbed the door to the ship. He sighed. "What a living."

Cautiously he fired up his rocket. It worked and he landed on the platform without too much disgrace. "Well, that worked ..." Then he frowned, "Okay, I'm getting a little freaked out ..." He treaded softly along the ramp, towards the Martian's gigantic array, "Hmm, Destructo-Amplifier. Well, that can't be good."

He looked up, watching the Martian getting closer, he needed to hide. He spied the cylindrical metal and glass lift doorway that the ramp passed through, and he hid behind the visual block. The Martian would get a pretty big surprise in a few moments. He grinned quietly to himself.

* * *

Previously Marvin had used explosive design concepts, when really; all he needed was a super powerful eraser blast. So, with this idea in mind, he'd worked hard for months building the perfect cartridge unit to create the desired result.

"At last, I will soon be able to view Venus without Earth in the way all the time." Marvin swooned at the prospect of beholding the magnificent sight unhindered. "I have finished creating just the cartridge to do it, now all that remains is to place it in the Destructo-Amplifier and target it." He passed through the lift cylinder, his eyes on the unit that would amplify the power of his invention and erase the Earth from visual existence.

Duck Dodgers spun out from his hiding position at the doorway. "You won't get away with this that easily, Marvin."

Marvin spun around, tightly fisting the cartridge; he grabbed his ray gun with his other hand. But Duck Dodgers already had his ray gun out, and he pointed and with a cursed luck on behalf of the Duck, Marvin's array disintegrated.

"AHA! I got the right weapon, this time!" The Duck crowed, before Marvin watched the Disintegrator disintegrate from his foe's grip. "Oh. Oh well." The Duck muttered, not realising that now Marvin was armed and he was helpless.

Marvin took a moment to review his own loss. "Oh, fiddlesticks!" Marvin harrumphed. "You've destroyed my Destructo-Amplifier unit."

"That's right buddy, no destroying Earth in this episode."

"Oh, that does it; you've really made me mad!" Marvin had no pity for any unarmed opponent that would destroy so many months of hard work.

He swapped the cartridge that he had in his hand with the energy pack in his ray gun. Then he pointed the weapon at Duck Dodgers. "But this still works and I can at least erase one annoying cartoon character from the universe." He fired.

Duck Dodgers, true to his name, dove to his left, but in doing so, he went falling off the Martian's space ramp. He looked up at his ship, parked in the distance, and whistled, waving. "A little help here?" He stared, begging as he started to fall.

"Please?" He squawked desperately.

The ship came grudgingly to rescue him as he fell out of the sky.

* * *

**Stay Tooned...**


	2. Intermission

**Episode Two: Intermission**

* * *

The Jazz district at ten in the evening was a hub of activity, fun music and entertainment ... normally.

But tonight for two would-be crowd pleasing musicians, a disagreement on music styles was reaching a bitter climax.

The musician exploded through the stage entrance door, falling to the sodden ground of the alleyway. Bugs Bunny followed him quietly through the door, pulling out a carrot and chewing into it. "Eh, what's up ... Maestro?"

The frazzled and tortured musician got up on his hands and knees, glaring at the long eared, carrot chomping fiend that featured centre stage of this nightmare of an evening.

"You! I'll fix you, you ..." There was a flash of white and he started back. He glanced around. He rubbed his eyes. "Bugs?" He looked around, getting up; a look of horror and fear replaced his previous expression of annoyance. "Stop the picture! Where is Bugs Bunny?" He ran out of the camera shot. "Oh my god! What's happened to him?"

* * *

Now back on Earth, Daffy Duck wandered out of the hanger. "Well, that was fun, now I wonder what everyone else is up to." Yes, it was fun. And he hadn't gotten too blown up or dented for a change. And his cape was wash and wear so the soot would easily wash out ... thinks were looking so good, he was scared.

He soon found out what they were up to: Nothing whatsoever. He strode down the lot, his eyes on a group of toons, standing around.

He frowned at the maudlin cartoon characters. Le Pew had a box of tissues and was offering them around. Foghorn was blowing his nose. "What are you lot all standing around here for? We've got cartoons to make. Come on, come on people, lunch time's over. You bunch of layabouts, get back to work!"

He took a breath, "what's coming to the world, these days? What happened to good old fashioned work ethic?" He shook his head.

Daffy Duck pulled out his diary and consulted his schedule for himself. "Oh drat. Not that again. Why does it always come back to the forest?" He tucked the book back out of sight and headed quickly towards the forest sound stage.

* * *

**Stay Tooned ...**


	3. Life Without Bugs

**Episode Three: Life Without Bugs**

* * *

Daffy Duck was busy keeping himself occupied.

"Why is it always Duck season, anyway?" He hammered the Rabbit season sign into the ground.

"I mean, have these people even done a census on population statistics?" He turned to the camera, picking up his equipment. "There are far more rabbits out there than there are ducks."

He hesitated. "I think it is ridiculous thinking about luck as such a deciding factor, but rabbits are born with rabbit feet, and ducks are always getting the short end of the stick." He turned around and was facing down the wrong end of Elmer's shot gun. "Or should I say the barrel end of the gun?"

Daffy gulped. "Look pal." He said, once again mustering his anger and indignance. "It's not Duck season, it's Rabbit season."

Elmer pulled out a calendar that blatantly said Duck season. "It's Duck season!"  
"Rabbit season! Don't want to get a fine, do you? Can't you read the signs?" He waved at his hard work, putting up all the false advertisements.  
"Er ... I er ..."  
Apart from Elmer's fumbling sounds of confusion, there was silence.

"Hold on for a second here, Elmer, this doesn't seem right."  
Daffy Duck consulted the script, Elmer read over his shoulder. "Just wead your wines, Daffy. This couwd stiwl pwobabwy work."

"What do you mean? We're missing a cast member!" Daffy couldn't believe his ears. "If you want to do something right, you have to do it properly. You can't do something properly if you don't have all the players!"

Elmer cleared his throat and began again. "Duck season!"  
"Obviously my logic doesn't add up for you. Very well." Daffy took a breath and followed Elmer's instructions. "Rabbit season!"  
There was silence.  
"Uh ... Rabbit season?" Daffy looked at the script.

He harrumphed. "This is useless, where is that rabbit?"  
"You down't know?" Elmer said tearily. "He's gowne." He sobbed wretchedly, pulling out a handkerchief and blowing loudly.  
Daffy grimaced. "Y-yuck." He watched the hunter; obviously he wasn't getting any more answers out of this chump.

Daffy Duck dropped the script and jumped off the stage.

* * *

**Stay Tooned... **


	4. You Gotta Be Kidding Me

**Episode Four: You Gotta Be Kidding Me!**

* * *

Considering rabbit's feet and the bad luck that Daffy was eternally cursed with. Considering how detrimental it was that Bugs Bunny be returned: Daffy didn't go directly to the cartoonist. He tried to find a toon that would do the job with more success.

"Sylvester? Could I ask for a favour for Bugs Bunny?" He looked over the hedge for the owner of the white tipped tail.  
At this moment, the old woman came up, unseeing in her own little world, pushing a lawn mower. The cat screeched as he got shaved by the devilish device, and scatted out the gate nearby and down the street.

Daffy sighed. He was being too selfish again. It wasn't just ducks, it was also cats. He crossed over to the farmyard set. "Uh, Porky ..." The Pig ignored him, caught up in his own plot against the chicken hawks.

Good help was not on hand for this solitary black Duck today. He sighed. "Well, maybe I can rescue Bugs, despite my bad luck disability." He turned and headed for the studio offices, after a few moments, he head the roar of an engine. "Mother!" His pupils shrank as he watched the jeep coming right at him.

Daffy picked himself off the ground, fluffing his feathers back up, straightening his beak, rubbing the tyre marks off. "Alright, let's try walking on the side of the road this time."

* * *

Without further incident, Daffy got to the front door of the studios. This place, as every toon knew, was the lair for the most powerful and sinister of all beasts: Here dwelt the writers, the editors and the cartoonists. His hands shook, and he firmed his resolve. It had to be done. He mustered his courage and boldly strode in through the double front doors.

Several minutes later...

Daffy Duck had paced a deep circle into the office carpet. "I'm trying to do my job here, and fortunately or unfortunately, I need that despicable rabbit to do it."

He looked back up at the sign on the door posted over the word 'Cartoonist'. "SO HOW CAN YOU BE OUT THERE FISHING?" He bellowed at the locked door.

The really sad part about it was that he knew this would happen. That was why he'd tried to find someone else to do it. "It's just my luck! Bugs, you should never depend on the luck of the duck, you know that!" He gestured to nothing and no one up on the ceiling.

He continued to pace.

"I know!" His headache cleared as the idea popped into his mind, "I'll just find another cartoonist." He sniggered. "Maybe someone from Disney? Sure, I've got a few ... connections." He laughed wickedly to himself and raced out of the studios.

**

* * *

**

Stay Tooned...


	5. Bugs Bunny Redrawn

**Episode Five: Bugs Bunny - Redrawn**

* * *

It was dark, and lightening streaked across the sky. The thunder cracked and the rain pelted down as Daffy parked his car inconspicuously near the entrance to Disney studios. He frowned. "This kind of thing never happens at the Warner lot. I was over there five minutes ago and there was not a cloud in the sky."

A deep throaty voice cackled demonically in the distance, rising up above the thunder. "YOU INSIGNIFICANT FOOLS!"

Deep within these fearsome walls, was the help he needed to bring Bugs Bunny back into existence. He looked up in the rear vision mirror at the iron wrought gate. "Steady on, Duck Dodgers, you can do it, easy does it."

Daffy stepped out of his car and got deluged by the non-stop sheet of water coming down. "Two things are good here." He told himself, calming. "That's Ursula's voice, so I'm in the right write place. Secondly, I'm a duck, and I love rain as much as the next duck!" He gargled happily for a moment, for a brief time feeling in his element, before his eyes fell on the wrought iron gates again.

"Well, let's hope my connections are still viable." He paused. "If I were still at the Warner's lot, they wouldn't be, of course." He clenched his beak, and watching the guard at the booth watching the television set, Daffy snuck in between the bars into the forbidden realm of the rival cartoon studio.

* * *

The Warner branded Duck was trembling as he sidled his way, cautiously along the buildings. He listened hard, if he got stopped by the wrong person, he was ... well, actually, he didn't rightly know what would happen!

"Oh, great, another personal flaw: A morbid sense of curiosity. Wow, Daffy. You really are a piece of work." He mentally slapped himself.

"That's it, I've had it!"

Daffy cracked open the door of the first closed set, but before he could look inside, a parrot came diving through, unbalancing Daffy. He dove for cover behind a stack of scenery lying there.

"What was that?" Iago flew around in a circle. "Oh, I must be imagining things; it's so dark out here. What am I talking about?" The parrot panicked mid-flight. "I'm in a lunatic asylum, and now I'm going mad too!" He squawked and flew off into the night, "Charlie, get me a long tall and a talon massage!"

"Lucky I'm a black duck." Daffy snorted derisive. He should start a tally sheet on this luck phenomenon.

He stole over to the next stage door. He opened it up a crack.

An indecipherable squawking filled the air. He closed it quickly. "Oh, god, not him! Donald's worse than ... well, maybe just as bad with luck as me." He made his way to the next door and jumped back as the door burst open. "Whoo-hoo-hoo!" Something striped red and black bounded out, crashed into him and then kept going without stopping and asking for insurance details.

Daffy picked himself up off the ground. "Well, that's definitely not the right door ..." He sighed. The Disney lot had a thousand doors, none of them in any particular order, not by Saturday mornings, not by air dates. There was no logic in the sequence at all.

He was lost, in the dark, in the middle of the Disney menagerie of mayhem. "Lord, please love a duck." He prayed as he moved to the next door. He reached nervously for the handle. He turned his head, watching as a stream of white spotted puppies barged out the next doorway. "Cruella De Vil won't help me either; she'd just try to turn me into a boa." He sighed, and refocused his attention on the studio at hand. "Please, let this be the one ..."

There was a frightening roar, he spun around, was that security? A group of hyenas jumped crashing out of a doorway at the far end of the lot. They turned, and headed in his direction!

"Yipes!" Daffy twisted the handle, and dashed inside the studio, slamming the door shut behind him. He sighed, locking the door. "And they say Warner shows are more violent. I hate to beg to differ, but ..." He turned around, blinking, recognising the common street setting that greeted him. "Yes!" He whooped in joy. "The one, the only, the lucky Duck! I've found him!" He blinked, gathering his senses again. "Well, he's somewhere around in here, anyway." He grinned. "I'll get you back yet, Bugs, don't you worry."

* * *

Daffy wrung his feathery hands, waiting in the receptionist area of the hectic, industrial and bustling studio centre of Disney. Obviously these guys didn't care about fishing. He turned his head as the striped fish in the bowl waved a fin at him. Daffy waved back. These guys had plenty of their own fish; that was why! He turned to look at the other occupants of the room. A puppet sat sleeping rather inanimately on one of the chairs and a tiny mouse was issuing reassuring words to his friend that was stuck in a glass shoe.

"I'm guessing it didn't fit, huh?" He asked the mice.  
They squeaked at him, shaking their heads and shrugging. "It was worth a try, I mean, you should'a seen that prince."

Daffy snorted. "Wish I could be the prince once in a while." His bored mind conjured a towering, voluptuous female duck that disappeared into nothing as soon as he tried to kiss her. He sank back into the chair. "Woe is me."

"Daffy Duck?" The receptionist called out, blinking disinterestedly at him. "Just down the corridor there." She pointed behind him.  
"Thanks!" He beamed at her and stood up, headed down the corridor.

"I got your rabbit you wanted, Daffy." A dark voice said from the other room. Bugs Bunny stepped out of the room, his hand to his head.

Daffy raced to Bugs' side. "You okay, buddy?"  
"Sure ... I didn't get the name of that thing that hit me, though. Ooh, I feel kinda ... weird."

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you!" Daffy called to his friend in the darkened room.  
"There may be a few side effects." The dark voice warned him.  
"Yeah, I know. But really, I owe you one." He turned back to Bugs. "Come on; let's get you to the car. And I'll get you home, and then you can have a nice rest."

"Oh, you don't happen to have a carrot on you, would you?"  
"Uh ... no. No, sorry." Daffy blushed. Well, how was he supposed to think of everything, huh?  
"Oh, that's okay. I have plenty of carrots at home."

* * *

Daffy snuck Bugs through the fence and got his co-star into the passenger seat of his car, parked near the front entrance. He went around to the driver's side. He started the engine and started to drive off, looking into the rear vision mirror, at the receding backwards sign, that read 'yensiD'.

He gulped as guilt and fear gripped him.

"Oh no, what have I done?"

Away from the strange world of Disney, the reality of the situation only now began to sink in.

_"... What have I done?"_


End file.
